Loise Mausser: I'm so sorry you're unhappy and not enjoying this great opportunity. I think things can get much better, though.Not everyone is a party or club person, and even party people like to do other things during the day. Can you ask a person or two to join you for shopping, studying, a walk, exploring the city or a museum? It may be that you'll build up friends on an individual basis, and more slowly. One of the reasons you're there is to get to know the country. Do you have contact with any French students? Perhaps you can find someone who'd like to improve his or her English, and you can work on improving each other's languages.You're online, so check for events in the area for students from abroad. Perhaps there is an Americans in Paris group, or a group through your school, or even just a message board where you can find others who share your interests. You don't have to restrict yourself to the people from your school.Don't be too timid to try events for the ! people who live there. Church or synagogue, a concert, sitting and reading at an outdoor cafe, a dance class, whatever. Fumble with your language until it improves. It is HARD but going out there every day and listening and talking will improve it.Is there some kind of advisor or coordinator from your program that you can talk to? I'm sure this happens to a few people every semester, so they must have ways to help. Sometimes the coordinator heard just the same thing from someone else and can help the two of you meet up. Or a gruop event can be planned that you'd be comfortable with, rather than just partying. Lastly, unless others exclude you outright, go to some of those parties and clubs. It's France. You can be someone else there. Go buy an outfit if you don't have one, some accessories and makeup, and go with them. Maybe get a French makeover. Don't just sit in a corner. Join in the conversation, or start a chat with someone else in the club. Just try it out. Much bette! r than crying in your room, and with practice, you'll feel mor! e at ease. Eventually, you'll probably meet someone who's doing the same thing, a non-party person who's at the party but would rather be having a deep philosophical discussion at the coffeehouse down the street....Show more
Elinore Schlinker: Oh D= I feel for you... thanks to my avoidant personality disorder and combination of extreme shyness, I have a lot of trouble making friends too... even in the US. I fear I'm going to have a terrible time in Japan (if I ever get to transfer...). Which, ironically, my only friend here is the exchange student from Japan...I really cannot give a good answer because I still lay down on my bed and cry because I'm friendless, no matter how nice I try to make myself seem. And I totally understand how much it must suck to be in France without your family and feel so alone... I just want to let you know you have my sympathy... /._. And you're not alone... just do what you like to do, smile, feel happy. You don't have to have friends to ! do what you like... because when you are having fun, people will start to join you in your... fun-ness. That is where the friends are supposed to come from - your happiness.And even if this information is dead to you (because it is to me when people just tell me to "be happy"), cry out those painful feelings in your heart just this moment, and then knowing... afterwards, you will feel calm. Breathe. Meditate. You will feel so much better. It may be temporary at first, but feeling relaxed and calm... and possibly happy and encouragement will make the most out of everyday. This may not work for my AvPD, but it works for my shyness and anguish of feeling alone. If you need to, talk to an experienced, mature person somewhere around you... or even to yourself. But with calm after your meditation... (meditation = sitting on your bed and listening to your breathing, not to be confused with... other... methods.)You will have a great time in France! :3...Show more
Tillie Wynot! t: I understand. I did study abroad in France last fall and the first m! onth was a breeze for me and the second month was a total distater. I was depressed and resented being there. I speak French well but was embarassed to. I cried and didn't tell anyone because I didn't want them to think I was being unappreciative (although I paid for the program myself) or juvenile.Here's what I recommend.* Spend time with your host family. If you're staying in an apartment or a dorm, spend time with your roommates or neighbors. Make yourself a part of the community and that will help you feel connected, find a sense of belonging, make friends, and feel less lonely and isolated. My host family was super patient with my French and my host mom and I would talk for hours. It helped improve my language skills too by speaking with a native and building my confidence up.* Spend time with other people in your travel group. Even if they're forming clicks, they'll get tired of the click and grow up once they realize the opportunities that await you in study abroad! ! I had this exact problem and I just invited myself with this small group of people that I thought I would get along with and we did. :)* Spend time with your classmates. Maybe you haven't gotten that far yet because you just got there but as part of study abroad you will meet people with similar interests as you - and they're all away from home, too!* Keep a journal. Track your thoughts and it will help control your emotions. Lows may seem really low, but once you get a chance to write about it and look back on what you wrote they wont seem so bad. It will also help you find things to appreciate about your experience.I know this sucks to hear - but it's normal to be scared and lonely on study abroad. I've done trips to France twice and I'm moving back there at the end of this month for seven months to teach English and I'm terrified - particularly because I know what I'm getting myself into as far as feeling isolated and scared. Just remember that anything worth having you ! have to work for. This experience really is an amazing one - but that's! not to say it's all fun and laughter and games. Take lots of pictures, travel whenever possible, keep a journal every day, and really try to make the most of your time. People at home wont understand how you feel and when you get back they'll think you had a blast the whole time you were gone - a big misconception about study abroad. People wouldn't do study abroad if it weren't worth it. It's hard work and very exhausting emotionally and physically. I would say it's worth every moment and every penny - even through some of the misery that's bound to follow when you're living apart from your culture and your life in a foreign country by yourself.You should be proud. You're doing something really brave and really remarkable - not many people get this opportunity. There will be times when you remember this and times when you forget. Just remember to take care of yourself and remember that worse-case scenario: you'll be going home in just a few months and you can glamorize yo! ur time abroad in hindsight.Good luck and I hope you really get a chance to enjoy France. It's a beautiful country and the language is so lovely! Also, where are you studying? I studied and lived with families in Angers and Grenoble. I also lived with a family in Marseilles on a separate trip. This upcoming trip I'll be near Strasbourg....Show more
Esmeralda Pigram: 3 days, and you haven´t made friends, yet? Give yourself a break! Oh, come on! Nobody told you what to expect? I'm so sorry! One of the best things about my experience doing exactly that was that I had a teacher who had prepared us all for the progression of moods, and feelings that almost ALL students experience! If you know what to expect, you recognize it and can ward it off more easity. Of course, depression isn't supposed to set in this early, so be prepared for another bout in about a month or two. Okay, you are feeling isolated and lonely. You need to, rather thsn sitting in your room, you s! hould go out and DO something. Do something that you have always wante! d to do, that is uniquely FRENCH!!!! You CAN go off on your own. Maybe this is the thing that can break you out of your shy shell. And of course your French is not perfect! You just arrived! (again, give yourself a break) But how is your French going to get perfect if you don't go out and USE IT!? (just keep telling yourself that, and use it as a mantra).First thing in the morning...it's almost morning there, right? Or right after you are done with your classes or meetings or whatever you are doing, try to find someone to get with, but if you can't, just go shopping. While in any shop, greet the shopkeeper (you should, anyway) and start asking for help with something...you want to sample a cheese or two, or what pastries do they recommend? or whatever shop you are interested in. You'll probably have fun, and get a little less shy if you force yourself. Is there some sort of language practice program where the school will pair you up with someone from France? app! ly, and that will help.Do you have a roommate? or have they placed you in some sort of living arrangement from the first day? You don't really have to be a party animal to enjoy going out. Try to find a quieter person from among your group to go out for tea with...herbal teas are a much bigger thing in Europe than in the US. or coffee. Nothing like a real cup of Cafe au Lait to get me going! Granted, I'm not a shy person, but if you are a bit outgoing, and maybe branch out from the group you are in, you will find a niche for yourself. And classes...when do they start up? You will start meeting people in your classes. And you can invite someone to have coffee after class.Here's the natural progression of how you are likely to feel while you are there. If you can get over the loneliness thing, you are going to start to realize that OMG YOU ARE IN FRANCE!!!! How long have you dreamed of this? Isn't it just the greatest thing you have ever done? You don't say where! you are. Are you in Paris? Can you walk out and SEE the Eiffel Tower! ? Can you go to any of the monuments and think WOW! I´M IN FRANCE! ?Okay, that will wear off after about a month, when you will probably start to realize that you STILL aren't fluent in French, because, you know, it actually takes longer than you thought it would. And you might start to feel depressed, like it is NEVER going to come to you. NOW, if you are aware that that is coming, you can prepare youself, and then fill your time with trying to figure out how to improve, and just have some fun. After another month or so, the language piece really starts to come together, and you are going to start to really feel at home, like you know your way around, and you know some people, and you are really getting the language. HERE is where you hit a dilemma. After a semester, you will just be beginning to really get a feel for the language. See if you can work out a way to stay a little longer. Another semester, and you will cement those friendships, and really get a handl! e on the language. If you go home, you won't very likely keep that fluency for terribly long. You will really have to work at it. If you can stay for a full year, you won't have to work as hard to stay fluent...it's more cemented. Nevertheless, you need to really enjoy your time there. Try to just brush off the depression. As you said, you want to enjoy your time, especially as it is so brief. Don't waste it crying! And I am sooooooo jealous of you! I wish I had had the time to take a year in France, too. I lived in Spain for a year, and I wouldn't trade it for the world, but I never did get the chance to really work on my French, and it still sounds like I'm just speaking Spanish with a French accent :)Bonne Chance! Enjoy yourself! Lucky number and Mavis KNOW what they are talking about. They give good advice, too!...Show more
Serita Hefferon: This might sound weird, but try to find a restaurant that serves food from your home country. Food is powerful! medicine for the soul as well as the body.
Esteban Lyson: You ar! e lucky enough to experience studying abroad. Don't waste your time staying inside your room.Instead go out and look for some other exciting activities. Yes, it's really hard to adjust knowing that some of your classmates have friends already. But don't lose hope. Why not go out and enjoy it for yourself. Don't feel so upset that nobody invited you for a trip but isn't that adventurous walking around in some interesting places? Take your time and you'll able to see good friends around your area. ...Show more
Oswaldo Rayburn: THIS STUDY WAY WAS YOUR'S CHANCE?I'M DON'T KNOWN!BUT HOPE YOU try hard ...........COME FROM CHINA NAVY
No comments:
Post a Comment